[ Maybe they should storm off and not talk. But Katsuki chased him and.... ]
D-do you really think that little of me? T-that I'm just. You just think I -
[ Have no sense of loyalty or...that he's loose or...he doesn't know how to take it. It's stressing him out that Katsuki kept implying finding someone attractive would somehow lead to Izuku sleeping with them or something when they both agreed to keep things between just them.
It's not what Katsuki actually means here, probably, but it's how Izuku keeps hearing it and he's trying to navigate that and he's desperate for the person he cares about most in the world to...not think that way about him, because that isn't who he is. And he thought they both knew it.
He's sure they did. They agreed, didn't they? So...so... ]
T-that I'm just, you really think I'm just - why would you - why would you do any of this with me if you thought like that? I just, I have it wrong, don't I? You can't really. Think like that about me, you can't, because -
Fuckin…! It isn’t you I think so little of! It’s me!
(Annnd he is screaming now, something fierce burning in his eyes.)
You’re the only person I notice like that. (His voice goes soft, vulnerable.) I don’t look at other people like that. I don’t care if they are aesthetically pleasing.
But you do. And that means what if one day you are looking at someone like that who has always treated you good and you realized you do want that? I can’t compete with that. We made an arrangement but what if…
(Izuku gets a crush. He knew Izuku wouldn’t go against their promise but he could always end it too.)
And I feel fuckin’ weird because I don’t understand myself. I know I’m the weird one with this. I know people find other people attractive. It’s just fucking hard, okay?
I-I don't - t-the only part of that I think is weird is that you think I'm attractive compared to like...other people we know?
[ He knows it might not be """normal""" but honestly he has no idea if it is or isn't and doesn't really care specifically about it. He's only weirded out about him being the target of it because he's got some insecurity himself and is not used to the idea he's attractive... ]
See? Like that shit right there. The fuck does that even mean? I don’t know who you are nutting up over so much. You find our classmates attractive. I don’t. So, whatever.
(Jealousy is the Worst.)
I’m not fucking comparing people in my head. It’s just fucking you.
(Which is dangerously close to a confession.)
It’s always just you for me. That’s fucking it.
(Even closer?! But he is turning away, kind of wanting to vomit because he is fully aware of how pathetic he sounded.)
(That at least gets through some thick part of his head. His eyes widen in soft realization and then a bit of color begins to flush across his cheeks.)
(Ahh. Hm. Katsuki reaches a hand out and settles it against Izuku’s face. Maybe it was too close to real intimacy but…he leans down and kisses him. Soft, gentle. And then he breaks the kiss.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ It's just a fact. ]
But so what? Why does it matter if I think someone is aesthetically pleasing and you don't? It doesn't change anything or put anything out of balance.
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(…He doesn’t want to be replaced. The words die in his mouth and he grimaces at the floor.)
Fuck. Just forget about it. You don’t get it. I’m going to my room.
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[ Maybe they should storm off and not talk. But Katsuki chased him and.... ]
D-do you really think that little of me? T-that I'm just. You just think I -
[ Have no sense of loyalty or...that he's loose or...he doesn't know how to take it. It's stressing him out that Katsuki kept implying finding someone attractive would somehow lead to Izuku sleeping with them or something when they both agreed to keep things between just them.
It's not what Katsuki actually means here, probably, but it's how Izuku keeps hearing it and he's trying to navigate that and he's desperate for the person he cares about most in the world to...not think that way about him, because that isn't who he is. And he thought they both knew it.
He's sure they did. They agreed, didn't they? So...so... ]
T-that I'm just, you really think I'm just - why would you - why would you do any of this with me if you thought like that? I just, I have it wrong, don't I? You can't really. Think like that about me, you can't, because -
[ He wants to know for sure he's misunderstood? ]
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(Annnd he is screaming now, something fierce burning in his eyes.)
You’re the only person I notice like that. (His voice goes soft, vulnerable.) I don’t look at other people like that. I don’t care if they are aesthetically pleasing.
But you do. And that means what if one day you are looking at someone like that who has always treated you good and you realized you do want that? I can’t compete with that. We made an arrangement but what if…
(Izuku gets a crush. He knew Izuku wouldn’t go against their promise but he could always end it too.)
And I feel fuckin’ weird because I don’t understand myself. I know I’m the weird one with this. I know people find other people attractive. It’s just fucking hard, okay?
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[ He knows it might not be """normal""" but honestly he has no idea if it is or isn't and doesn't really care specifically about it. He's only weirded out about him being the target of it because he's got some insecurity himself and is not used to the idea he's attractive... ]
B-but you're still - I can make my own choices??
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(Jealousy is the Worst.)
I’m not fucking comparing people in my head. It’s just fucking you.
(Which is dangerously close to a confession.)
It’s always just you for me. That’s fucking it.
(Even closer?! But he is turning away, kind of wanting to vomit because he is fully aware of how pathetic he sounded.)
Yeah, I fuckin’ know.
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[ This is...a lot more than that. ]
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Wait. Really?
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[ He chose to feed manually...which wasn't something he would have done with someone else... ]
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(This is an awkward admittance but at least they are maybe getting somewhere now?)
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[ Romantic... ]
...I-I meant it when I said I - I didn't want to. With other people.
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Okay. I just wanted to make sure.
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You're...the only person I flirt with anyway.
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(He withdraws from Izuku, shoving his hands into his pockets, and scowls at the floor. God damn it.)
The idea of you checking other people out and flirtin' with them pisses me off.
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[ Katsuki notices maybe...5% of the time. ]
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[ He is not giving examples. ]
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(He leans back, huffing.)
Which classmates do you think are attractive? (Listen.
Listen. He's still jealous okay. It's less obnoxious but now he needs to know.)
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[ Mineta. ]
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(Fucking lame. He rolls his eyes and shoves his hands into his pockets, turning promptly around to head back down the hall...!)
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[ Before he lets Katsuki go for real... ]
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(He was still kind of irked but not as much.)
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[ He always has a bit of an energy dip after that kind of anxiety. ]
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