Shh. [ Katsuki's voice sounds wrecked. Izuku thinks he should get him water, but although Katsuki withdrew Izuku isn't quite able to bring himself to release the other boy. It's been days without knowing what was happening, worrying if Katsuki was gone forever.
Now he's worried about the same thing for different reasons.
His hand drops from Katsuki's brow, going down to gently take the hand on that ruined arm into his own. ]
Y-you're okay. It's- it's okay, Kacchan. [ He's speaking to both of them, eyes glassy with tears. ]
(It was settling in. What must have happened and what didn't happen. What had been happening this entire time in Folkmore. For a moment, all he can do is stare at Izuku's chest because it was easier than looking at him in the face. All these months of cradling Izuku against his body in the night, kissing him awake in the morning, and bending him over by afternoon only to go about their day training and bickering.
He only snaps out of it when Izuku takes his hand and he finally looks up at him. That's when he realizes he can only really see half of Izuku. He tips his head, having to turn it more to properly see all of Izuku.
He couldn't help but be filled with the overwhelming realization that he had lost. Not just his life, but had lost Izuku. He's suddenly clenching his jaw so tightly that it hurts, and his own eyes are turning glassy.)
You haven't- [ Izuku doesn't know what Katsuki is talking about. Suddenly disappearing and then reappearing like this...he hasn't spoken to anyone it's happened to. And all the guesses he has scare the hell out of him.
He grips Katsuki's hand, eyes locked onto the other boy's face.
Katsuki looks so fragile right now. And it terrifies him. ]
(Had it happened to anyone else? Katsuki didn't know. He still felt like he was drifting between worlds. Some part of him wondered if this was just the afterlife after all. But then that would mean Izuku had failed as well.
And as tough as it was to swallow his own failure, he could not accept any reality in which Izuku failed. Without knowing it, Izuku had somehow eclipsed even All Might in Katsuki's mind. He didn't know when it had happened or how, but suddenly, it was the only reality he could possibly understand.
Izuku was to be their savior after all. And God, Katsuki didn't want him to do that alone. He couldn't do it alone. Katsuki needed to be there by his side to make sure that Izuku didn't lose himself as All Might had.
He looks at Izuku again. He has no clue what he himself looks like right now. He can only feel the edges of pain - faint now in comparison to what it had felt like then.)
I...(The truth gets caught in his throat and his mouth trembles open before he clamps it shut. He stares at Izuku with the soft kind of look that he usually tried to hide. Now...He wondered why he had wasted the time in hiding anything at all.)
I'm here. (He swallows again and blinks away those useless tears.)
I'm never leaving your side. I'm sorry I scared you. But I'm back.
[ Katsuki looks absolutely terrible. But in Izuku's eyes, even looking terrible like that he looks amazing. Izuku had been so afraid he wouldn't see Katsuki again. Right now, his heart is still almost beating out of his chest with the force of it, adrenaline still pumping through his system.
He's back, Katsuki says, and Izuku's lips tremble. ]
Where...did you go? Kacchan...what happened to you?
(What does he tell Izuku? Katsuki refused to lie to him. But he's almost certain of what had happened. How does he tell that to Izuku? How does he tell him that the worst odds...)
I lost. (The words come quietly. He's looking Izuku in the eye now, unwavering. If he was going to admit his own defeat, it was going to be to Izuku.)
You... [ The words don't make sense. How could they? Katsuki is the symbol of victory in Izuku's eyes. No matter what they've been through or gone up against, he's always had faith in his childhood best friend.
How could he have anything else? Izuku grew up with Katsuki. He knows him inside and out, even when they struggle to understand one another. ]
He knows that. But some losses you never come back from. Or at least that's what he was still believing at this point in time. How could he not believe it?)
I tried really damn hard. I gave that fucker my best shot. (And it was a good shot. It had scared the hell out of him. Katsuki's best just hadn't been good enough. He still wasn't at Izuku's level.)
Don't- don't apologize. I know you, Kacchan. You always give everything your best shot.
[ And Izuku wouldn't ever blame Katsuki for losing. Right now...right now he's just - he can't even contemplate a life without Katsuki in it. A world where Katsuki lost and didn't get back up later.
He sees the scars, realizes they were healed over by this place, and yet... ]
B-but...I can't give up on you yet, you know? It's not certain y-yet...
I do. (That much he knew. But that wasn't what he was sorry for the most. He looks up at Izuku again, his eyes wet.)
I'm sorry I couldn't keep up with you. I'm sorry I wasn't...
(Strong enough to find Izuku again and just tell him. Tell him what everything has meant to him over the years, and what has been proved between them the past few months in this place.
He stops feeling sorry for himself and pinches his eyes shut.)
I want to be good enough to stand by your side. (He opens his eyes again and gazes intently at Izuku.)
And...And that must be why I'm here with you, right? So I can.
(Katsuki sucks in a slow breath. If he was Izuku's idea of victory, then the same could be said for Izuku. At some point, his view on the world had dramatically shifted to Izuku being the person he wanted to catch up to. The person he wanted to live up to.
He wanted to be able to maintain that place by Izuku's side more than anything else. And hearing that feeling was mutual...It should have been obvious, sure. But everything always was so damn obvious in hindsight.)
Then that's where I'll stay. (He reaches his hand out to touch Izuku's face, sliding his palm against his face before he leans forward and presses their mouths together as if to seal the promise.)
[ Katsuki might be - Katsuki might be dying somewhere. Or dead. Izuku knows what the blond was getting at. He just doesn't know how to face that reality without losing his mind.
It's in the way he kisses back. A desperate promise, like they can fend off reality if they just hold on to one another as tightly as possible.
(There's desperation in his own kiss. He couldn't imagine holding anything back anymore. Even if they hadn't spent months making love and kissing each other on a regular basis, he couldn't keep himself from openly adoring Izuku. So much had gone down since he had first apologized to Izuku, and now, he knew the severity of what he had to lose.
He knew what he had to gain too though. And he knew Izuku wanted him in the way that Katsuki wanted him in turn. So, when their kiss ends, it's easy to rest his forehead against Izuku's and confess:)
[ Katsuki had apologized a second time, when they'd arrived in Folkmore. Izuku remembers both apologies. Since coming here, they'd fallen together. Considerations from back home - war and strife and what other people thought - that had kept them slightly apart. Time they hadn't been given to work themselves and their feelings out...
Izuku smiles, although the tears spill over. Of course they do. ]
I love you, too, Kacchan. [ Getting to this point has been so hard, but the words are so easy. ] I can't...I can't imagine life without you.
(Now that he had Izuku in front of him, he has no idea why he had waited so long in Folkmore to say anything. What they could have had to lose...And for what? Pride? Fear? They were always better together than apart.
When Izuku starts to cry, Katsuki can't help but smile fondly. He would have been more surprised if Izuku hadn't cried at all. The smile grows warmer.)
I know you do. (And he did. He has no clue why he had ever debated why he held back from talking about this before. He can't stop smiling now.)
Me neither. I don't want to. You're all I've ever focused on.
I...I never wanna give you up to anything or anyone. Kacchan, I...
[ He doesn't want to go home and have this all be a dream he can never have there. He wants to be hero partners. He wants to hold hands and go on dates. He wants their parents to get a chance to make fun of them for all of it. ]
(No one else mattered. Not like that. Katsuki didn't think there was even something for him to go back to anymore. Not if he had died. So why not commit to this world and this Izuku? He wants to wake up with Izuku in his arms. He wanted to be able to smugly kiss Izuku after crushing a villain. He wants to suffer their friends' inevitable obnoxious reactions to them becoming a couple.)
I want you to be my myth. (The red string between them glows and when the mental link opens up between them, Katsuki just feels...relaxed. Assured. There's another golden glow and a fifth tail manifests behind him. Red marks stick out on his cheeks and his fox ears prick up out of his hair. He looked more himself than he had just moments ago.)
(There would be a lot to cope with. On both ends. But at least they didn't have to do it alone. He can feel Izuku's emotions and tries to wash them over with his own: reassurance, love, and determination all the same. You won't lose me.
Not again.
He's starting to realize why Thirteen might have brought them here. So they could have a normal chance.)
Deku. (He smiles, rolling them slowly over so that he could cover him in kisses. His growlithe was yipping softly, licking at both of their faces. Katsuki snorts and looks up.)
Baby, can you give us a moment? I missed you too. (He kisses Ground Zero's snoot.) We'll all go for a walk later. Okay?
[ It's been days. ...Izuku hasn't fed in all that time, but he doesn't appear to even be thinking about it, just blinking away tears and kissing whatever he comes into contact with. Katsuki's brow, his jawline, his cheek... ]
(It hadn't occurred to him about Izuku's feeding just yet. His growlithe leaves the room to give them some privacy. He's relieved to feel those kisses. Even over scarred skin.)
I love you. (Again. He missed Izuku too much to not say it. For him, it had been a while since he saw Izuku and when he had, it had been climatic and terrifying. He hadn't known where Izuku had gone and had just needed to have faith in him.)
[ Izuku buries his face against Katsuki's neck, breathing him in. He smells familiar, but also not quite like he did at home. Here, there's always the scent of animal fur too.
It's soothing. ]
I love you so much, Kacchan. I was so - scared. When you were gone. I looked for you.
I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to vanish on you.
(It wasn't something that had been in his control. If it had been, no way he would have left Izuku by choice. He cradles the back of Izuku's head and kisses the side of his head.)
I bet you did. I love you too. I should have told you sooner. But I'm just glad I told you now. I'm here now.
I-it's not you fault. You didn't choose to go...and...I didn't tell you sooner either. I thought - while we've been here, it feels like...we have all the time we need.
[ To go slow. To circle one another like they've been doing their entire lives, to find equilibrium. ]
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Now he's worried about the same thing for different reasons.
His hand drops from Katsuki's brow, going down to gently take the hand on that ruined arm into his own. ]
Y-you're okay. It's- it's okay, Kacchan. [ He's speaking to both of them, eyes glassy with tears. ]
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He only snaps out of it when Izuku takes his hand and he finally looks up at him. That's when he realizes he can only really see half of Izuku. He tips his head, having to turn it more to properly see all of Izuku.
He couldn't help but be filled with the overwhelming realization that he had lost. Not just his life, but had lost Izuku. He's suddenly clenching his jaw so tightly that it hurts, and his own eyes are turning glassy.)
It's not.
(It's not okay.)
I wasted everything.
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He grips Katsuki's hand, eyes locked onto the other boy's face.
Katsuki looks so fragile right now. And it terrifies him. ]
Kacchan...I was so scared you were gone.
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And as tough as it was to swallow his own failure, he could not accept any reality in which Izuku failed. Without knowing it, Izuku had somehow eclipsed even All Might in Katsuki's mind. He didn't know when it had happened or how, but suddenly, it was the only reality he could possibly understand.
Izuku was to be their savior after all. And God, Katsuki didn't want him to do that alone. He couldn't do it alone. Katsuki needed to be there by his side to make sure that Izuku didn't lose himself as All Might had.
He looks at Izuku again. He has no clue what he himself looks like right now. He can only feel the edges of pain - faint now in comparison to what it had felt like then.)
I...(The truth gets caught in his throat and his mouth trembles open before he clamps it shut. He stares at Izuku with the soft kind of look that he usually tried to hide. Now...He wondered why he had wasted the time in hiding anything at all.)
I'm here. (He swallows again and blinks away those useless tears.)
I'm never leaving your side. I'm sorry I scared you. But I'm back.
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He's back, Katsuki says, and Izuku's lips tremble. ]
Where...did you go? Kacchan...what happened to you?
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(What does he tell Izuku? Katsuki refused to lie to him. But he's almost certain of what had happened. How does he tell that to Izuku? How does he tell him that the worst odds...)
I lost. (The words come quietly. He's looking Izuku in the eye now, unwavering. If he was going to admit his own defeat, it was going to be to Izuku.)
I went up against...
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How could he have anything else? Izuku grew up with Katsuki. He knows him inside and out, even when they struggle to understand one another. ]
It's...we all, sometimes we all...?
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He knows that. But some losses you never come back from. Or at least that's what he was still believing at this point in time. How could he not believe it?)
I tried really damn hard. I gave that fucker my best shot. (And it was a good shot. It had scared the hell out of him. Katsuki's best just hadn't been good enough. He still wasn't at Izuku's level.)
I'm sorry, Izuku.
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[ And Izuku wouldn't ever blame Katsuki for losing. Right now...right now he's just - he can't even contemplate a life without Katsuki in it. A world where Katsuki lost and didn't get back up later.
He sees the scars, realizes they were healed over by this place, and yet... ]
B-but...I can't give up on you yet, you know? It's not certain y-yet...
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I'm sorry I couldn't keep up with you. I'm sorry I wasn't...
(Strong enough to find Izuku again and just tell him. Tell him what everything has meant to him over the years, and what has been proved between them the past few months in this place.
He stops feeling sorry for himself and pinches his eyes shut.)
I want to be good enough to stand by your side. (He opens his eyes again and gazes intently at Izuku.)
And...And that must be why I'm here with you, right? So I can.
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Izuku never saw it that way. If anything, he thought he was the one trying to keep up. ]
Kacchan, you're- you're the person I want by my side. You're more than good enough.
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He wanted to be able to maintain that place by Izuku's side more than anything else. And hearing that feeling was mutual...It should have been obvious, sure. But everything always was so damn obvious in hindsight.)
Then that's where I'll stay. (He reaches his hand out to touch Izuku's face, sliding his palm against his face before he leans forward and presses their mouths together as if to seal the promise.)
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It's in the way he kisses back. A desperate promise, like they can fend off reality if they just hold on to one another as tightly as possible.
He's almost in tears when he pulls back. ]
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He knew what he had to gain too though. And he knew Izuku wanted him in the way that Katsuki wanted him in turn. So, when their kiss ends, it's easy to rest his forehead against Izuku's and confess:)
I love you, Deku.
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Izuku smiles, although the tears spill over. Of course they do. ]
I love you, too, Kacchan. [ Getting to this point has been so hard, but the words are so easy. ] I can't...I can't imagine life without you.
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When Izuku starts to cry, Katsuki can't help but smile fondly. He would have been more surprised if Izuku hadn't cried at all. The smile grows warmer.)
I know you do. (And he did. He has no clue why he had ever debated why he held back from talking about this before. He can't stop smiling now.)
Me neither. I don't want to. You're all I've ever focused on.
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[ He doesn't want to go home and have this all be a dream he can never have there. He wants to be hero partners. He wants to hold hands and go on dates. He wants their parents to get a chance to make fun of them for all of it. ]
I want you to be my familiar.
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(No one else mattered. Not like that. Katsuki didn't think there was even something for him to go back to anymore. Not if he had died. So why not commit to this world and this Izuku? He wants to wake up with Izuku in his arms. He wanted to be able to smugly kiss Izuku after crushing a villain. He wants to suffer their friends' inevitable obnoxious reactions to them becoming a couple.)
I want you to be my myth. (The red string between them glows and when the mental link opens up between them, Katsuki just feels...relaxed. Assured. There's another golden glow and a fifth tail manifests behind him. Red marks stick out on his cheeks and his fox ears prick up out of his hair. He looked more himself than he had just moments ago.)
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Maybe...maybe if they try to become the best versions of themselves, there will be a way to keep him. ]
Kacchan... [ Izuku ends up hugging him again. Clinging, really. ]
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Not again.
He's starting to realize why Thirteen might have brought them here. So they could have a normal chance.)
Deku. (He smiles, rolling them slowly over so that he could cover him in kisses. His growlithe was yipping softly, licking at both of their faces. Katsuki snorts and looks up.)
Baby, can you give us a moment? I missed you too. (He kisses Ground Zero's snoot.) We'll all go for a walk later. Okay?
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I love you. (Again. He missed Izuku too much to not say it. For him, it had been a while since he saw Izuku and when he had, it had been climatic and terrifying. He hadn't known where Izuku had gone and had just needed to have faith in him.)
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It's soothing. ]
I love you so much, Kacchan. I was so - scared. When you were gone. I looked for you.
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(It wasn't something that had been in his control. If it had been, no way he would have left Izuku by choice. He cradles the back of Izuku's head and kisses the side of his head.)
I bet you did. I love you too. I should have told you sooner. But I'm just glad I told you now. I'm here now.
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[ To go slow. To circle one another like they've been doing their entire lives, to find equilibrium. ]
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