defendure | Noctium Inbox

I'm not dying over some shit like that.

[He won't be killed by anyone!]

Do you have to be offended by that...?

[ He wasn't insulting you! ]

Who the fuck said I was offended?!

[He's reaffirming what they both already know! But it feels important to say because he's sitting here with fucking bandages on.]

Just - I know you won't die easily, okay, but that doesn't mean I'm not glad you weren't hurt worse.

[ If those injuries had been in more vital spots... ]

... why do you think I called you?

[He didn't want Deku to worry about him.]

I thought you were worried about me going home or running into him.

[ To be frank. ]

That was one reason.

[There were multiple reasons.]

[ He quiets down to consider that. Izuku's gotten through pretty much all of his meal, so he sets it aside and considers Katsuki.

Honestly...

He almost starts to talk, but stops himself again as he works through it. Sometimes it's really hard to be sure of himself. ]

Because you care about me.

[There are so many things he could say. There are still so many shields and barriers he can put up. So many lies and excuses he can stay behind.

But in the end, after months and weeks and experiences, when hatred and self-disgust finally reveal the real reason, it's impossible to deny the truth at the core.]

Yeah.

[ There are a lot of layers to any truth, and that simple admission leaves a lot unasked, unanswered, and unsaid. Even so...it's more than Izuku's ever gotten before. Even when Izuku was so close in childhood when they were still friends, Katsuki never really said it. He'd go out of his way to deny it every time.

It almost makes him want to cry. ]

I care about you, too, Kacchan.

[ Probably always more than he should or more than Katsuki would like...but he doesn't have to specify that part either. ]

[Your body doesn't move on its own to block someone from damage if you hate them. You don't go out of your way to pay attention to someone's feelings if you hate them. You don't spend weeks on end training with someone to hone their abilities if you hate them. It's a truth he's had to face over and over.

Only a matter of time before Katsuki has to bend and accept it so he doesn't break by denying it any further. Won't change shit between them, but...]

I know.

[Don't fucking cry, you wuss. You already knew too.]

[ He hoped, you mean. Izuku always wanted that, but years of Katsuki insisting the opposite still sometimes linger.

If it helps, he's TRYING not to cry. Which means his eyes are glassy but not watering.

But he does have to do something to let off the emotional steam, so he gets a knee up on the bed and leans in for a kiss. Cheek if he can't get lips. ]

[Katsuki's merely watching him despite wanting to look anywhere but him. Most of the time he doesn't look when saying something more vulnerable. But sometimes, he'll get the guts up and resolve to face it head on. Like now.

Meaning he sees the glassy eyes. And he sees the attempt Izuku makes towards getting on his bed and leaning in close. Shouldn't let him cause he's fucking injured and shit.

But... he lets him.]

[ He's VERY careful not to jostle Katsuki or put any weight on him, thank you. It's pretty chaste and brief...

And it makes him feel a bit less like he's about to burst into tears after. ]

[He's not made of fucking glass even if he does have injuries! If they weren't in he hospital, he's brazen enough to think they might actually fuck. But since they are...

Katsuki nudges him off with his elbow.]

Off. Lemme finish this.

[Still got some more sushi.]

[ Katsuki said no fucking for a few days so Izuku's not making any passes!!!

That said, he's way more okay with sex in places that sex maybe shouldn't be had than Katsuki, probably. but he does get off immediately. ]

Sorry!

[Yeah, but he also knows how kisses can lead to fucking. Especially mouth to mouth.

Someone would definitely walk in on them mid-fuck if they did it. They can go three days without it, right?]

Uh-huh.

[Just gonna focus on finishing up his food, thanks.]

[ Yeah, remember when Izuku tried to convince Katsuki to have sex with him on the beach, secluded or not? He's definitely...not opposed to risk.

He'd be totally embarrassed if they were caught unless he was in dryad mode though.

He's pretty much done so he'll start tidying up. ]

[He remembers. Plus the flower house to make it acceptable. Yeah, transformed they wouldn't have a single issue, but devil's not out right now, so moot point.

Katsuki finishes his meal and packs the containers so Izuku can handle that.]

[ Izuku will probably change pretty quickly then, since he doesn't want to sleep in the clothes he was running around in. And then...settle on the cot? ]

[Probably the best choice. Katsuki's accepting some sleeping pills because he doesn't want to roll over in the night and wake himself up from the pain. But all in all, he's settled in for sleep.]

[ That probably means he's not long for this world. ]

Kacchan?

[Wow. Don't make his pillow his tombstone.]

Huh?

Did you still want to go on that da - to the gala thing?

[ Or...not. He's, as usual, anxious about things. ]

The gala thing?

[So much for improvements.]

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